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texassweetheart,
My advice to you is to tread cautiously, take time to seriously consider the options, and to be discreet. Since I don't know the organizations you are considering I can only speak to you from my greek experience and as a member of a multicultural sorority...
You shouldn't join a sorority because your friends are in it. You should join because you value what the particular organization stands for, the work they do on the campus and in the community, and how you feel about the members you know/are able to interact with. It sounds like both organizations you are interested in are promising organizations, which may be the source of some of your indecision.
I would say research, research, research...find out what you can (info that is supposed to be public knowlege) and attend events so you can get a better idea of what the sorority is doing, and have in person contact with the sisters where you maybe able to ask any questions that you have, or at the very least set up a time to speak with a sister and ask questions. And my recommendation is to avoid the pledging and de-pledging as much as possible.
I advised you to be discreet/cautious because ABC sorority may feel offended by your sudden interest in XYZ sorority, and some members of XYZ sorority may not be so welcoming given your history with ABC sorority. But ultimately, I am of the opinion that you should follow what is in your heart, no matter what others say.
As far as being disrespected, NOBODY should be disrespecting you or other pledges, and it is good that you seem have brought it up to other members of the sorority.
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