It's a shame that legacies are feeling a need to deny their legacy status because they are afraid of being cut by the sororities they're not a legacy to.
I'm reminded of one of my chapter sisters, a fellow founder of my chapter. Her aunt is an AEPhi. The aunt would not allow her daughters to attend any college where there wasn't a chapter of AEPhi. Not one of them actually went AEPhi. The aunt was, of course, disappointed, but I'd like to think her daughters were happy with their decisions - they followed their hearts, and their hearts led them to other sororities. Still, the aunt had her moment - she flew out for our initiation and gave her badge to her niece. (AEPhi does not consider nieces to be legacies.)
I hope that any hypothetical future daughter of mine follows her heart. If she joins AEPhi, great - I'll be at her initiation and proudly pin her with my badge. If not, I will be happy for her as long as she's happy with her decision. If she's cut from AEPhi, yes, I will be annoyed, but it means it wasn't meant to be.
The problem is that, sometimes, when a legacy rushes, there are erroneous expectations all around.
- A legacy has to understand that the courtesy invite to 2nd round is a courtesy to her mother (or whoever) and that she might not get invited back for the next round.
- A legacy has to understand that if the chapter invites her back
beyond the courtesy invite, it's because the chapter wants her for who she is, not just because she's a legacy.
- The chapter she's a legacy to has to understand that just because she's a legacy doesn't mean she's a good fit.
- The chapters she's not a legacy to have to understand that she's not automatically going to go to her mother's sorority, and that they're not necessarily wasting a space by inviting her back.
- The mother has to understand that just because she was a good fit for XYZ at University A in 1995, doesn't mean her daughter will be a good fit for XYZ at University B in 2025.
- EVERYONE has to understand that legacy status does NOT guarantee a bid from the legacy sorority!
Absolutely, a sorority should (and is required to) give a legacy special consideration, but if she's not a good fit, she's not a good fit.
Hybrid Mode
