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I agree with the posters who said to have someone from that culture speak with the parents. When I was in Angel Flight at the U of Hawaii, we had to deal with this a lot, particularly with the Samoans. The dads would even grill the other members when we called their daughters:"Why do you want to talk to my daughter? It's already 8 PM, can you wait until tomorrow?" However, there wasn't anybody more experienced in American culture who could talk to them.
Now I deal with it with Hispanic girls in Scouting. It's much, much easier to have another fairly recent immigrant talk to them about the importance of showing up for certain events even if the daughter's seventh cousin twice removed *is* having a birthday party....otherwise they'll tell the leaders that certainly their daughter will be at bridging and then not show up, time after time.
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