What is Love? (A discussion)

Curiousgirl · #1 10-18-2001, 11:02 AM

What is love? I'm sure it means different things to different people. Perhaps we can discuss it in this thread. Here are my thoughts.
I think love is like a pyramid, with Phileo as the base. This is brotherly love, the kind you have for friends.
Then comes Eros, the sexual love between husband and wife. This is a very intimate love to be shared between only two people.
At the top of the pyramid is Agape, the love for Family and for GOD.
"You can't really love someone unless you love yourself"
The feelings we have when we fall in love would be infatuation. It's an emotional reaction to someone.
True love is not based on feelings, but is a way of life. You would do everything for her (or him). You would defend her and back her up, regardless of whether she's right or wrong. You wouldn't insult, criticise or put her down in public. You would learn the meaning of the word "Sorry". This is the exact opposite to the belief that love means never having to say you're sorry. No one would come before her. She would be your life, your world, your very being.
True love for her wouldn't depend on things like wealth, looks or position. You would love her just because of who she is, and you would love her as she changed with the years.
"Narcissim is self-love gone wrong"
To jump into Eros before learning to successfully negotiate Phileo is to look for trouble.
To mistake infatuation for true love is to open yourself to heartbreak.
To mistake sex for love is to risk hurting two people at the same time.

GmuTeke · #2 10-18-2001, 11:20 AM

My mother always says that love is when you can do spontaneous choreography with your bf/gf like in the Gazebo Scene in The Sound of Music.

Personally, I feel that love, of any form, is when both parties feel they don't deserve the other.

SigmaChiCard · #3 10-18-2001, 12:27 PM

Gmu, I know what you're saying, but that kinda gets to me the way that we're supposed to fear God does. I think the person you're in love with you should feel you deserve every atomic particle that forms her/him, because you're accepting that (as said in Good Will Hunting) they're not perfect, but they're perfect for you.

Curious, I've many expansive theories on love, ask newbie or my friends from here, in fact I wrote a 120 or so page book to this girl whom, well...., I can't really go into here while I'm at work, otherwise I'd get even less accomplished. But I'll give a synopsis of my theories.

Love is an entity that can be broken down into two forms, more simplistic than yours, these forms are simply, Love, and In Love. Love has degradations, whereinwhich you can love someone more than another, and this love incorporates the love and affinity one has for their family, as well as best-friends. Love is more than a feeling, I think that love is almost a character trait in some people, but for most love is simply a response to interaction and personal relationships. In this form of love, one would do anything for the person that they love, deprive themselves of anything for the betterment of the companion, and it is this love that is based on trust and liking. This love can be lost and broken when deeply betrayed and is not an eternal love. This love is very powerful and typically unbreakable, but not also neccesarily so. Love changes the way you act, to accomodate that person. Often, this is the love that someone might say, "I don't deserve you."

'In Love' transcends all bounds of love, and does so to such a degree that one is completely aware of everything he/she wants and desires. This is the love that those desires do not even involve the 'in love' person themselves, it's solely for the other person. When someone is 'In Love' they can do nothing about it, and can only hope that the other person will accept that they are in love. This is the love where, as the prophet Kahlil Gibran says, "you must fill each others cup, but drink not from the same cup." 'In Love' is eternal, and cannot be dismantled even by death, as it is based on the realization that the two involved are perfect for one another, and that their souls are intertwined, hearts both beating the same notes. 'In Love' allows you to no longer change the way you act, but shine bright as yourself. 'In Love' is the enlightened state of being within the realm of the greatest order, which is, generally speaking, love itself.

My thoughts are flowing poorly right now, typing and discussing are, believe me, two horribly different things, but let me say this to compare it to the topic at hand. I've a board, on which is written something similar to the following:

In my Study of Zen
I looked to the mountains
and saw that they were mountains
Further into my studies
I no longer saw mountains
However, upon enlightenment
I looked to the mountains
and saw that they were mountains

I kind-of see parallels between that and being yourself, to 'love' to 'in love,' but that somewhat outlines my general, very simplisitic theories though...

Cory

Optimist Prime · #4 10-18-2001, 02:51 PM

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.

The1calledTKE · #5 10-18-2001, 02:59 PM

Love is when you may ahve the worst fight of your life and five minutes later you are smiling and hug each other. Love means no matter what happens with a person you will always care and want to spend every second of your life with them. I know this because I feel this way about my girlfriend.

SigmaChiCard · #6 10-18-2001, 03:02 PM

Opt, you got me dancing, bobing my head, and ready to go...

alphachiohmy · #7 10-18-2001, 04:03 PM

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. "

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Miami1839 · #8 10-18-2001, 08:42 PM

alphachiomy,

I couldnt have that said that better. Love to me means all those things and so much more. I would say "giving" speaks volumes to me when I think of love.

Kevin

AlphaChiS2K · #9 10-21-2001, 02:16 AM

"Your voice, whe you speak,
is a dark ocean and a blue star
the sound of heavy feet on cobblestone, the feel of
heady nights in Brazil.
Full of coffee and the pulse of music.

This is the sound which I hold my breath to hear.

Your voice makes it so, makes it as you will it
when my hand becomes lost in the slope of your back
when my face is buried in the field of your throat.

You are honey, soft
and you stick to me in places.
Staying, leaving this sweet reminder
of your fingertips, like
some exotic postcard.

You, stone cast off from a random fire
left to burn and smoke
in my heart, arms, knees, eyes.

I laid nets, traps after the last
and you, the silver-bodied fish you are,
slip through
and gather me like pearls
to rub glassy and smooth."

I think THAT'S love... complete giving of yourself to another person, regardless of past and future. Just knowing that for whatever reason, you fit together in some way... and that that is enough.

amycat412 · #10 10-21-2001, 02:47 AM

Neruda, AlphaChiS2K??? Reminds me of him, if not.

My favorite, and what love must have for me--
Your Laughter
Pablo Neruda

Take the bread from me, if you want
take the air from me, but
do not take from me your laughter

Do not take away the rose,
the lanceflower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in your joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

AlphaChiS2K · #11 10-21-2001, 07:22 AM

Amycat, Neruda is my favorite... and what you just posted is one of his best. If anyone on this board has not seen Il Postino, I strongly reccomend you do... it's a cinematic definition of love, encompassing friendship and passion and heartbreak (wow, I read like the E! channel).

And no, what I posted wasn't Neruda... but he's one of my influences.

curiouss · #12 10-21-2001, 05:03 PM

Girls....