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I think I have sort of a personal block against talking with Gamma Phi. Even though I know it's dumb, I still feel lame and.....rejected in reference to them. So I can't help but think that if I try to talk to them, they're going to be sitting there thinking about how I'm so pathetic that I couldn't get into their organization, and I have to try to make my own. Ugh. I know that's unreasonable but it's hard to control what you feel deep down inside. Another problem is that I have one friend from Gamma Phi who I was pretty close with. She gave me lots of advice and help, and we emailed eachother back and forth all last quarter last year through the beginning of rush this year. She gave me all kinds of encouraging comments, and I really thought (in large part because of her) that there was no doubt that I would get in GPhiB. I wrote to her last right before rush started, and she never wrote back. I didn't expect her to write during rush, but I thought maybe after I got cut, she would have said something. Especially since she was so confident that I would be in. Anyway. So my feelings are hurt because I think it really sucks that she didn't even take the time to attempt to maintain our friendship. But she's the only person in Gamma Phi I would feel comfy talking to, so I don't know. I should email her or something but it feels so akward. But if I want this to work I guess I kinda have to talk to her. The whole thing just makes me nervous! I'm getting ready to call the student organizations office as soon as I'm done with this post, more soon!
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Hybrid Mode
