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As everybody is discussing this ad nauseum, I had a couple lengthy discussions about this at work today. I really have to believe that if I were in the condition that she has been in for 15 years, I would want to be allowed to leave this world. I would want my family to be able to grieve the loss of me and move on with their wives. Although I'm not currently married, I do believe that this would include my husband. If I can't be a wife to him, then I don't think I would want him to have to have a lonely existence only because I was brain dead and he had made some vow about "in sickness and in health". Having a loved one in that condition for that length of time has to be extremely stressful for them and I wouldn't want to put them through that. Perhaps I have a martyr syndrome, but I really would rather see my loved ones grieve and move on with their lives. I think that the husband has already grieved the loss of his wife, because he lost her 15 years ago. I feel sad for her parents and siblings because they aren't able to let go. If her husband just wanted her dead so that he could re-marry, then he could have just divorced her.
I have heard the argument that they are "playing God" in taking the feeding tube out and the woman at work who said that said "if God wanted to take her, he would have by now, so they need to keep feeding her". I pointed out that if it was up to God completely, then she will miraculously live without the feeding tube if that's His wish also. If we can "play God" by with holding medical treatment that is life saving, then aren't we "playing God" when we keep people alive by artificial means? It's a question I will have for Him when I reach the pearly gates (I have a whole list of questions!). It seems like as we come up with more and more medical advances to keep people alive and treat their illnesses, more and more illnesses pop up (thinking about HIV, ebola virus, etc) which we can't cure.
If nothing else, hopefully this will get more people to put their wishes in writing. I love that 5 wishes site and am planning on filling it out and having my mother do it too. I know her wishes and I am her Patient Advocate, but I want it all in writing. Since she has emphysema and there will be some difficult decisions to make, I want her to have it in writing. It's not an easy thing to talk about or think about, but it's necessary.
Dee
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