Quote:
Originally posted by sugar and spice
In this particular case I think that it's not just about sex. It's about respect for the other partner, which is how marriage differs from just sex in the above abortion example. It's her body that's going to get screwed up -- a body that (unlike most of the people who post on GC) is imperative to her career, and it is her career that is going to get put on hold when she gets knocked up. Not Brad's. To me, IF she doesn't want kids (which is still just an assumption at this point), and he is pushing for them despite what it will do to her body and career, it signifies a lack of respect for what she does.
And if what the article is claiming is true, it sounds like Brad just wants kids because he thinks they'd be fun, whereas Jennifer has some very good reasons for not wanting to be pregnant, which is why I'm inclined to say that this is HER choice. If he had a good reason for wanting to have children (like, I don't know, creating a small army of children to take over countries) and she was just saying no for the hell of it, then I would be more likely to say that she's not giving him enough choice in the matter. Clarified?
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I know you weren't responding directly to me, but I'll say yes, it clarified your position for me, and I don't think we're that far off from each other.
I was just taking it a step further to say that in marriage -- or at least, in a healthy marriage -- the husband and wife would work through all of the points you made, would do so with respect for the other and other's needs and feelings, and would attempt to arrive at a decision they can both live with and where neither spouse would risk carrying resentment because the other spouse "acted like this was all his/her decision." It can be very difficult to find that common decision that both can live with, but it's not impossible and, if the two people are committed enough to the marriage and to each other, they will probably consider it necessary to keep working on it until they do reach that common ground.
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