You're absolutely right in that if you marry someone that they are now you're new family and that your husband/wife should be your first priority. But, I wouldn't exactly call your parents your second priority. They're still extremely important although you obviously have a different relationship with your parents than you do with your spouse.
Maybe I think that way because I come from a very close-knit family (I suspect you do, too).
Maybe the reason she's not calling you isn't because she still thinks she's right. Maybe it's because she's afraid of how you'll react to her. She's obviously already hurting. If she calls you and you completely blow her off, she'll feel twice as hurt. You came out your argument as the angrier one so I'm guessing she's hoping you'll cool off and then maybe call her.
I doubt that she'll tell you that she will never listen to her mother again. If she does tell you that, she's lying.
What if you all compromised on something?
What if you made a deal that if she says something to the effect of, "Well, my mother thinks that I should blah, blah, blah" that you will call her out on it and she has to stop right then? If she says, "My mom feels this way". Say to her, "How do
you feel?" The answer could be different.
I know I PMed you about this. Many women tend to have a very close relationship with their mothers. Unfortunately, a lot of girls take their mom's advice as the gospel word. She just needs to learn how to trust her own instincts rather than her mother's. Obviously, things were working out fine before her mom decided to throw in her 2 cents.
I can tell you still love her a lot. You wouldn't have come on here asking for advice about what to do if you weren't really considering calling her and getting back together. And, I have to admit, I'm biased in that I hope you guys get back together since she's my chapter sister and I hope she ends up happy.
At the same time, you need to ask yourself if you really think you can find someone else that has made you as happy as she has or if you could see yourself in another relationship and not compare your new girlfriend to Miss Cashmoney.
But, if you really think there is no way things will work out and that she will just keep on listening to her mother, don't get back together with her. Just make sure the decision you make is made in a thought out process rather than out of anger for what she did.
ETA:
You probably shouldn't have called her mom a selfish, unhappy bitch.
Quote:
Originally posted by cashmoney
I don't know. Maybe I look at things differently. I don't know if I could fully get past the fact that she vaules her mother's advice more than she cares about the two of us. And the fact that she had put her family before me when we were supposed to be getting married. The way I see it, if you're married to someone then that person IS your new family. You should put your husband/wife above your other family. If you don't, then your marriage isnt going to work in the long run. Yes, she was good for me and I was good for her. The problem came when her mother got caught up in the mix and started yapping shit off in her ear. Now there were things I could have dealt with differently. I look back and realize I shouldn't have told her that her mother was selfish, unhappy bitch. I'd probably be pissed if she would have said that about my mother....but if it were true I wouldn't hold it against her. The fact that she hasnt called me at all herself proves to me that she thinks she didnt do anything wrong and that, in her words, the problem was me. I mean, I'd probably feel different about it all if she called me and told me that she messed up and that she was sorry for being the way she was and that from now on she'll put me first and not listen to her mother when it comes to our relationship.....but I don't forsee that coming out of her mouth. I've given thought to the whole pre-marital counseling thing but realized thats too gay. Besides, I don't know how she'd react to me suggesting something like that. She'd probably tell me I'm crazy.
Now I'm even more confused than I was before I started this thread. 
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