But why get married at all?

[4RunnerStar]

well i guess i'll speak from my own personal belief's and what i think is tradition.

i dont think people should marry for benefits. that is the wrong reason to marry. now in a situation like one mentioned above about a medical condition. i think that is okay and not considered marrying for the benefits. the agreement to marry was already made it was just sped up when the condition popped up. and that stuff happens. and i also think it was very sweet to marry after that.

i am, obviously, committment phobic or something because i am scared to death to get married. but my reasons are not so that i can leave when i want, they are because i think marriage is very serious. and it is taken too lightly these days with the divorce rate at a high of 51%. i am also scared of getting hurt physically and mentally.

however, i'm not saying this is wrong, but i would personally never live with somebody as opposed to getting married. i'm not really into church but i still believe that it should be bound in front of God and not the landlord. it should just be legal you know? and you cant introduce that person to people as "hey this is my husband, bob" its 2 kids later and youre introducing old high school buddies to him as "hey this is my boyfriend and father of my kids, bob." i dont even live with my boyfriend now because its too scary to be that close to somebody. when we work nights, we are so dead tired that i just meet him at his house when his shift ends and we sleep it off. occassionally he'll just come here and get in bed without waking me up. but there are too many distractions here between my sister and other people coming in and out all day. our hours are perfect at times cause i need my space too. and i dont see him every day because he works as a firefighter and a cop so he works 24 and sometimes 48 hours at a time.

my boyfriend and i are both taken care of by the state if we were to get hurt on duty. he fell through a roof not too long ago and broke his arm during a house fire. he was taken care of.

if i marry him, its going to be because i am truly in love with him and cannot picture myself without him. what i look for in marriage is love, security, trust, faithfulness, and respect. i have that now but i'm still nowhere near ready to take the plunge. but i'm young. so i'm not going to get worried until he says he's ready to settle down and i have to make up my mind. cause then i've got to buy some time lol.