Advice
Sisters-
I wasn't sure where to post this, so I felt here would be a good starting place.
This is sort of a long and strange story so please bear with me.
My neighbor's husband died on 1-11-2004. It was a very sudden and shocking death. The husband was in his early 70's and she's mid to late 50's if not older. Anyways she's sort of wedged her way into my family because she has never had children. We've known her for 13 years or so. But she's always been one of those women, who drive the BMW, and do dinner with people and just gossip and have nothing to say. The typical country club women. She's always asking what so and so thinks of us, and she also has the tendancy to butt in where she is not really wanted. She's also very self absorbed and only see people for when they're helping her. She tends to make her self a martyr as well, and will not help her self.
So once her husband died she asked that we stay with her. She became ill and should have gone to the hospital but refused. She's recovered. now Yet she refuses to try and help her self, or acknowledge that she's burdening my family. Rather than try to learn how to work her computer, she askes that I do it. When I offer to teach her she doesn't want to learn. " you'll just do it for me". She's been calling my mom 8-10 times a day to say NOTHING. It was so bad that my mother turned off her phone. And one time she was talking to my mom, who almost wrecked her car, ( she the neighbor) was on the phone with my mom at this time and heard the beeping and swearing and just continued on with her normal sob story of being alone, and helpless.
It was sorted out that I would stay tuesday, and my mom and sister would be there a few of the other days. She has family in the area but they are so used to her making a martyr of her self they will not even stay with her. Now I know that I have never lost some one close to me ( thank god but at some point it will happen) but it's been almost 6 weeks of her having some one stay with her at night EVERY NITE. Now at first I didn't mind at all because she was grieving and it's hard when you lose some one. But now I LOATHE my tuesday because I know I have to go and deal with her. It's always the same thing. So last week when I was there she was mad at me because I couldn't go to dinner with her. ( Note that she's one to cancel dinner 3 days after it happened and thinks nothing of it) and had the nerve to tell me that I'll going to have a long, lonely miserable life, with many troubles ahead. Keep in mind I am runing my own web design business, working full time, and taking nutrition classes. but she thinks my time is not of any value.
She insitis on trying to set me up with men 2 times my age, though she knows i am sort of dating some one.
So I told my mom that I am not going to keep going over there to get lectured on my life. And that we aren't helping her by being her crutches. And if her and my sister want to keep going over that is fine, but I am not. Now,I don't mind helping her, nor being there for her, but she doesn't even thank us. She just expects this of us. She told my mom she named us ( my sisters and my self) her heirs.
Anyways basically the advice I need, is it acceptable for me to stop staying there. I am just sick to death of her lectures, and inablity to try to help her self. I need to have time to do my things, and it's honestly interfearing with my life.
What do you think?
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