Quote:
Originally posted by valkyrie
I disagree. I think that most people answering here (and I don't mean you, lovelyivy84) have no concept of this situation.
I was separated when I started dating Mr. valkyrie, so I've been on the other side. Despite g8ralphaxi's kind words, I don't think that I or my ex were "screwed up in the head" -- it just wasn't working out and it's that simple. My separation was not a "legal" separation, and thus there was no paperwork involved. I don't see any "karmic" issue here at all, and never thought that I should sit at home alone until my divorce was final.
To answer your question about marriage -- maybe I don't really believe in it. Or maybe I do, but I think that two people should only be married to each other if they both really want to be. I don't see the point of sticking it out when you're miserable just because you said you would.
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I see what you're saying, but I think we are looking at two different situations. The kind of situation that I was addressing is one where there is no separation, someone is married and you have a relationship with them anyway. Not where there is a separation or pending divorce.
And while I understand your points, I still don't think it's a great idea to get involved with someone who is separated. I personally would be extremely reluctant to get involved with someone until after they were legally divorced from their spouse, and had gotten over such a huge, potentially traumatic breakup. There isn't bad karma on that one, but it's just a bad situation to step into.
I was talking about cheaters, plain and simple. Maybe they start telling the person they're involved with that there will be a divorce AFTER they become involved, but who would trust the word of someone who is actively lying to the person they promised to stay faithful to forever?
I am not saying that marriage MUST always last forever- people grow apart, don't get along, etc. But if that is the case, then be an adult and leave. Don't stay with someone who you say makes you unhappy and continue to lie and cheat. It's wrong. And getting involved with someone in those circumstances is dumb and wrong.
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