Will you put your parents in a nursing home?

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by TKE209Sweethrt
Seriously though, my sisters and I are pretty tight w/our parents, with 5 girls they'll get enough help when they need it Anyway, it's really whatever my parents feel what's right for them.

At a certain point, it's not about what parents feel "what's right for them." Dementia, Alzheimers, and other problems associated with old age take the person you knew, loved and admired and turn them into something completely different. In some cases, they longer know what's right for them.

My father has 9 brothers and 4 sisters, all very close with their parents and each other. They all said they would NEVER send their parents to a home. When my grandmother had a series of strokes, it was easy for them to share responsibilities...in the beginning. Each of them took a week off (they all live within 5-6 hours away) to take care of my grandmother, so the strain wouldn't become so much on the ones who were closer. She also had a home-health nurse. By the time those 15 weeks were up, I have seriously never seen my parents so exhausted, as the bulk of the responsibility came down on the few who were close enough and who could afford to take more time off (my father and two aunts). Diabetics with Alzheimers and a host of other age-related illnesses need more care than children and their spouses there once a week and a home-health care nurse.

So, despite everything they had ever thought, they had to send her to an extended care facility. Those things are EXPENSIVE, but she did a lot better.Qualified people were there to take care of her mentally and physically, and they were able to enjoy their mother during the last months of her life. I remember her being probably in the best condition there than during the entire run of her illness (especially towards the end). It takes an unimaginable toll on the entire family--despite how close everyone was, it's one of the most stressful situations I have ever experienced, and I was just a bystander.

So, never say never, folks. I know my parents are financially prepared for the possibility of having to require outside long-term care, and I know they don't want to put us what they went through.