Mother Drama Dilemma

[StrangeFruit]

Greetings Everyone,

I need some advice from SistaFriends.

What do you do when you have a conditional mother? Meaning, it's her on her terms or none at all. And if there not her terms your disrespecting her?

Every since I was a child my mother has said "The Bible says honor your mother and father..." If she doesn't agree with me or likes something that I'm doing, she says, "The Bible says...."

Now I don't think I disrespect her; I've never talked back to her, I'm not on drugs, I'm 33 single and w/o kids (don't like that, but that's where I am right now ).

I tried surprising her on Thanksgiving (b/c I haven't seen her face in about 3 years or so), but she didn't answer her door (and I know she was there). When I spoke to her the following day, she says, "I'm not one for surprises you should have called." Then she goes on a tangent with, "Why do you and other people think that I'm suppose to be sitting in the house waiting for someone to come over." Now, I never expect her to sit anywhere and wait for me, but I thought I'm her only surviving child, what's the big deal.

She asks me did I surprise my father (they've been divorced since I was 8 yrs old). My father doesn't care when I come over, just come. And the other thing, she constantly compares me to a man she says she hates and "Stupid."

I want to tell her that I'm tired of her comparisons, and making me feel horrible when I don't agree with her, but if I do, she'll condemn me to HELL with the, "The Bible says..."

I know this is a lot, but it's been bothering me and I need some advice from impartial/unbiased women that may have gone thru this before or currently going thru it.

Thanks in advance for your help.