Adding my 2cents before this manages to get locked.
Regarding the alumnae being asked not to wear letters I think it's all in how it's presented. Sororities rarely close (in comparison to fraternities) due to risk management. So you can bet on the fact that if a national is recolonizing a chapter quickly it's a numbers/financial issue. While each and every sister of the defunct chapter may have been outstanding for whatever reason they just weren't working out with the schools Greek scene. {I'm talking in a general sense and not referring to any particular school or org.}
When you're a new alumna it takes time to transition from "active collegiate" mindset to "active alumna" mindset. This is true regardless of the situation regarding your alumna status. This is the same reason that advisors are generally asked to wait 3-5yrs before advising a collegiate chapter. Especially thier own.
If your chapter closed and you're now alumna but the group is recolonizing it's even more difficult to adjust. You still have all the same interests and concerns as any active but you also have the responsibilities of an alumna.
{All of that to get to my simple point.} There's a huge difference between 1) a national asking you to be alumna and act as an alumna. ie Join alumnae chapter and not become overly involved in collegiate chapters. (Meaning don't try to relive your glory days.) 2) A national asking you to not participate in anything period.
Simply being asked to not wear letters does not automatically make it case #2 because PNMs would be confused/curious or gossipy and the new initiates would be tempted to cross the line of the alumna/active relationship.
IMHO a chapter in this situaton should welcome the collegiate alumnae at meetings but the alumnae should also recognize that they have no say in the chapter business and should not be attempting to attend socials. I would find it acceptable though for the alumnae to attend the occasional sisterhood event though.
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