LouisaMay's Long Search begins...

[LouisaMay]

Dear GreekChat Gurus,

I have been a GreekChat regular observer for months, but it has taken me forever to finally take the first step in the AI process. I am feeling both a fear of rejection and a fear of regret. I know that if I don't go for it now, I will always regret having not pursued initiation in this fine sorority. At the same time, I think maybe I would feel better just knowing that once this sisterhood wanted me.

Here's my story:

I was an extremely DRIVEN high school student, and I didn't let up for a second in college. I was academically focused, but I was also searching for ways to gain experience in my field in hopes of having a dazzling career! I dove into college life head first--signing up for many activities and constantly looking for community service opportunities, while maintaining a full course schedule. Of course, being the go-getter that I was, I looked into sororities. In the campus sororities, I saw a chance to make lasting friendships, serve the community, and develop ties with alumnae. Perfect!

Well, I went into Rush my freshman year with NO CLUE. I had no idea what I was doing, so when I was asked back to all the sororities for the second round (of three rounds), I was dumbfounded. My Rho Chi said that I had to drop one group, and I had no idea what to do. I dropped the group at the bottom alphabetically. Stupid, I know. I had enjoyed all the chapters so much during my first night of Rush, and I figured I could be happy in any of the houses. I hadn't expected to have to make this choice, so I was really unprepared. I had to choose on the spot.

When it was time to pick up invites for Pref, I was in for a big disappointment. I had not been invited back to any of the chapters. In my opinion, the Rho Chi did not handle this well at all. She was like, "Oh! This never happens." How was that supposed to make me feel?? So, I left the Greek Life office, acting like everything was fine.

I went on with things. Kept busy. Made friends. Then, in the fall of my sophomore year, I was invited to an informal rush party at the house I had dropped the previous winter. I was so excited!! A sister came right to my dorm to pick my up. She walked me to her chapter house, showed me her room, and introduced me to a lot of the sisters. I discovered that I knew many of the newest sisters who could have been my fellow pledge sisters if I hadn't dropped. It was the most fun I had since coming to college! The girls were all so genuine and hilarious! After that night, I did a lot of research about that sorority, and I learned that I had a special connection with this org that I hadn't realized before (I won't explain 'cause that would give it away).

A few weeks later, I got a bid. But of course, it's not that simple! Just a few days prior, I was offered a top editorial position with my college paper. This was a huge deal for a sophomore, and I saw my chance to really excel. Writing and editing were my career goals, and I was so torn between my drive to succeed and my desire for sisterhood.

The sisters kept asking for my response, and I kept stalling. It was awful! Finally, after consulting with my family and my new boyfriend (who was decidedly anti-Greek), I declined my bid.

Now before you pull out your hankies, let me just say that I had a fabulous time in college. I continued working for the paper, and I am now using those skills and experiences in a wonderful career. However, I still regret having missed out on sisterhood. When I read about the great experiences on GC (especially in the forum of my goal organization), I feel so left out...and so stupid!

So anyway, here is my chance to redeem myself. I am going after this with everything I've got! No holding back.

Here's why this is the "Long Search." I am moving in about 9 months, and I don't feel that it would be fair to pursue the support of an alumnae club, only to leave in the near future. So in the meantime, I am connecting with a couple of my college friends who were members. I am hoping that these women can help me meet the local club near my new home when the time comes. I am also learning as much as I can about the sorority, its philanthropies, and its activities in the region to which I will be moving. There is a college chapter there and at least one alumnae club.

Well, that's about it. Sorry this got so long. I am really really really really really excited, and I've just been holding all of this in TOO long. I talked to my husband last night, and he supports me in this. He knows how much I regret missing Greek Life.

To avoid the generic ABC or XYZ, I am calling this sorority-of-choice Little Women (hence the screen name), after my favorite book.

Thanks for all of the wonderful information here. I feel well prepared, and I will be around a lot to cheer on all the PNAMs.

Go Little Women!