6/23/03 Dear Abby

[BabyBlue91]

I just ordered the invitations for my November wedding, so I am always looking for some solid advice or a funny story about weddings. I am reading my local paper today and came across the following letter in the Dear Abby column. I pasted this from the Dear Abby website, as my paper had edited out some of the letter. I literally sat here speechless. I would never do this to my family (or any other guest)!

DEAR ABBY: I'm enclosing a wedding announcement my family and I received yesterday. My family and I are shocked and appalled. It reads:

"Dear Family: I am asking for your cooperation and understanding. My wedding will be very costly, and this has caused me to make some unpleasant decisions.

"I hope you will see this as a request for a donation and not a charge for you to attend my wedding. I cannot figure out any way other than to ask each guest to contribute to the cost. If anyone is insulted by my request, I am sincerely sorry.

"Your $330 contribution must be received on or before June 30. Only postal money orders will be accepted. Please purchase it only from a U.S. post office. Thank you for your contribution."

My question is, how should this "invitation" be handled? We don't have this kind of money. Should we tell the bride-to-be what bad manners this is? -- APPALLED IN OHIO

DEAR APPALLED: No. Please allow me to do it for you. What you received is not an invitation. It is a solicitation. Not only is it tacky; it is unbelievably insulting. When a couple marries, all monetary contributions should be voluntary. To specify that the "gift" be paid via money order implies that there might be insufficient funds to cash the check.

If I received such an "invitation," I would not send a money order. I would send my regrets. I recommend that you do the same. Readers, I challenge you to top this!