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Politics Explained
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them
and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take
care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as
you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government
takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They
are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the
chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The
government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say
you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you
take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of
them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government
takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and
drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who
gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours
pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates
what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you
not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell
one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.
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