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Often times, intiation is not all that it is cracked up to be for the 'pledge', because his/her pledge program was not as effective as it should have been. Initiation should be the pinnacle of your pledge process, not the end of your pledge process.
How was your pledging, were you hazed? If so, initiation probably wasn't what you expected. Were you educated properly on your fraternity lore? If not, then you may not have fully understood what was to take place anyway.
Take a few minutes each week and read through your own ritual book. It may be that the initation put on by your chapter, wasn't done correctly in the first place. Some chapters, especially old chapters, start bringing their own traditions into ritual, which actually distracts from what should really be happening.
Hope this helped. PM me if you want to discuss more.
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