Scootch over Stalin & Hitler, here comes lifesaver..

[lifesaver]

I didn’t know I was pure evil. Though somebody wouldda pointed that out to me by now.

I get this email yesterday and I need ya’ll advice on how to respond. I am thinking of just letting it go. First, some background: I am a transfer to the chapter here. I was a newly initiated member when I transferred. I got to my new chapter and really liked it. I busted my ass for a year as a member and the then leaders of the chapter were really apathetic. Membership had dropped from 50 to 14, drug usage was rampant, grades were in the trashcan, we lost the house, standards disappeared and there were members showing up to ritual stoned and would bring beer to it. The chapter was well on its way to being closed.

A core group of brothers decided to do what we could to keep the chapter open. We ran for the leadership positions and won. The kid who sent me the letter abbreviated below was also running for a leadership position. He was a part of the old guard. I guess he felt he was owed the position. Well, he was running for president and let me know that he had dropped all of his classes so he wouldn’t be on probation as president. You cant run for president if you are not enrolled. I brought that point up and he was removed from the ballot. The core group won and the direction of the chapter changed. The undergrads are now 60 strong and will sign 25 this fall (as they usually do). Their grades have improved drastically, sororities will mix with them, they are involved in the many student orgs on campus, have the student govmt presidency, homecoming king, and have a great working relationship with the administration. I am not saying that my core group was responsible of the transformation of the chapter, but I definitely think history speaks for itself, with regards to the chapter.

I am sorry he feels he was hurt by what happened. It wasn’t personal. We all did what we thought was best for the success of a dying chapter. Of course if I could go back, I would do things differently, but would still advocate for the changes that were necessary for the chapters survival. I hold on to my convictions, and stand by them. I only see this brother once every 6 months or so. We were never close friends. Hes not a member of the alum assn. And this crap happened in 1995. My point is that I had let it go, because it was so long ago, but he obviously cares, and I, for the most part, stand by what I did.

Don’t you find it all pretty passive aggressive tho? Why not call a MF up and BE A MAN, say, “Whats up? We need to talk. You, me, a beer, Hooters, 8pm.” That’s some shit I respect. And this crap, “I dont expect a response?” Chicken Shit way of doing business. I understood a long time ago that not everyone on this planet is gonna like me. Just the way shit goes down. But to me, this whole issue boils down to the following: If my group hadn’t done what we did there’s a distinct possibility that the chapter could have been closed. Because of what we did, 200 additional men have had the opportunity to become brothers of this chapter. I think a few peeps not liking each other is part of the cost of doing business. I have always come from a school of thought that said there is no one more important than the whole. The success of the org is and was paramount in my eyes. If a few mf hate me for what I did, I'll accept their hate becasue it kept tha chapter OPEN.

What do ya’ll think? I should ignore? Respond and apologize but explain why we did what we did or tell him that I’d do it all over again? What would the responsible adult do?

His note below:

lifesaver,
I've got a long overdue issue with you. This is more for me to let go than for you to hear (or rather read).

When I convinced you to become a poli sci major, I also inadvertently introduced you to the politics. Granted you were headed that way anyway. The day that you found a home in politics was the day that I began to despise everything you stood for. Every word that came from your mouth was poisonous and filled with lies. Everyone knew this and yet many liked you and believed you to some degree. This made me resent you more as you hurt a large number of my friends; people I cared about. I prayed that you would turn on me to give me enough reason to beat the living shit out of you. That day never directly came. You single handedly divided and conquered the fraternity using political technique. I saw something that I trully enjoyed turn to shitty cliques because of you. Bill and Steve were two of my best friends, but I encouraged them to move on from the fraternity for the sake of the fraternity rather than let you continue to play everyone against each other. Then, I set in motion a plan to have you expelled from the fraternity. I ran for President. Knowing that my grades were mediocre, I withdrew from school the day of elections to insure that I was not on academic probation. In other words, I paid a lot to be president. I prepared for it fully and was pretty much guaranteed the spot from what individuals told me.

The day of the election, I made one fatal error. I mentioned that I gave up a semester to become president. You quickly went to the advisor to have him disqualify me. Had you been the person who directly told me that, I would have started swinging. However, it was the advisor and I was in shock that the guy I most respected used the cheap power play. It was that day that I separated myself from the fraternity. You are the one and only reason I decided to have nothing to do with the chapter. Had you left it, I probably would have returned. I had that much hate for you.

Until this week, I was not willing to let go of that anger for what you did...for hurting my friends, for hurting the chapter, for being pure evil. I don't know if you still treat people like shit, abuse them and sling mud without regard. I'm going to hope that you have no need to do that anymore. And I'm going to take a leap of faith and forgive you.

Realize there are more brothers out there that felt the way that I do …. I will now consider this a dead topic and do not expect a response from you.

Your brother,
Alex

(Names have been changed to protect the grudge holders)