The ABCs of an Exboyfriend

[CrimsonTide4]

A is for the automobile which he doesn't own.

B is for bullisht, which is what he was full of.

B is also for brain, which was located between his legs.

C is for the commitment that was never there.

D is for the dildo he didn't know I had.

D is also for "Damn the bad luck" which is what I have in Dating men.

E is for everything he said we'd do, everything he said he was, and every- thing he's not.

E is also for ego. His was bigger than a hot air balloon.

F is for faithful, as long as there wasn't something or someone better to do.

G is for GOD the one he thought he was and wanted to be worshipped as.

G is also for the spot he could never find!

H is for laughter (HA! HA!) the last sound he heard from me as he was walking out the door.

I is for Impotent which is what I told everyone he was.

I is also for the inbreeding that occured in his podunk family.

J is for jugular, the one I'd love to sever.

K is for Key, the one that made the lovely designs on his truck.

K is also for Kick in the balls which is what I'm gonna give him if I see him again.

L is for Love in most cases, but exceptions have been made.

L is for LOSER in this case, along with LUSH (he drank an awful lot).

M is for MAN. Has anyone been able to find one? Have you ever met one? Do you know where any are?

N is for the narcotics. He drove me past alcohol.

O is for the orgasm he thought he made me have.

P is for PAYBACKS. Remember they are HELL!

Q is for queer. I sometimes wonder if he is.

R is for the hopeless romantic he said he was. He was half right. He was hopeless, not to mention worthless.

R is also for the ring that he can't afford and will never buy.

S is for the sugar they found in his gas tank.

S is also for satisfied, which he rarely made me feel.

T is for typical. Typical little boy playing at being a man.

U is for umbilical cord which was never severed when his mother gave birth.

U is also for the ugly girl he is dating now.

V is for the voodoo doll I made of him. Pins are inserted of course.

W is for wife, the one he said he didn't have.

X is what he is to me now!!!!

Y is for why the hell did I ever get involved with him.

Z is for the zoloft that I had to start taking.

. is for period, which is a good excuse that comes in handy once a month.