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Go ahead! Although there may be some national policies against giving bids to married women, they are outdated! As you can tell from this board, most members/chapters have no idea what their rules are on the issue.
On the issue of them wanting/ not wanting you because you are married, you don't want to be a part of a goroup that will throw you to the wayside once they figure out you have a hubby. Personally, I wouldn't offer the info just so they know (like, Hi! I'm gay), but I wouldn't hide from it up either (ie, if a sister says something that reminds you of your honeymoon, or of your wedding, tell the story).
My boyfriend is divorced and has a 2 year old and is thinking of rushing. He'd be the best brother if he decided to do it, and I'd have a much worse opinion of any frat on campus thought to turn him down because he couldn't live in the house.
-M
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