2 New Virus Warnings -- Be Careful

[CrimsonTide4]

BEDTIME Virus

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes," delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only
erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on floppy disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on all your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code.

Screws up the tracking on your VCR.

Uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will program the auto dial on your phone so that you can call only 1-900 numbers.

This virus will also mix antifreeze with water in your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your Scotch.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.

If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a bathtub filled with water.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses
and pillows. It will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *********

If you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so

hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front

of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this to everyone you know.


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SENILE VIRUS


Read before you proceed with any action!




Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems that there is a virus out there called the Senile Virus that even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of -- so be warned. It appears to mostly affect those of us who were born before 1960!


Symptoms of Senile Virus
1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send to wrong person.

4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the