When I was a kid...

[DeltAlum]

This is pretty funny...I hope my editing doesn't lose the flavor...

Ain't this the truth...

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through
year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to
their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average
despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where
they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from
starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I
had it and how easy they've got it!

But...

Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, (29 -- I wish!) I can't help but
look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so f----- easy!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a g-ddamned Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got
it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet--we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damned library and look it up ourselves!

And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a
pen!--and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the f----- mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

And there were no MP3s or Napster! You wanted to steal music, you had to
go to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would
usually talk over the beginning and f--- it all up! (DA Note -- I was a DJ -- we did this on purpose! Take that!))

You want to hear about hardship?

You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to
buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or J-----f to
the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog!

Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy s--t like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and
somebody else called they got a busy signal! You had the option of an
"Emergency Breakthrough" but after a few months of the "Emergency
Breakthrough fever", you could tell the operator started hating your very
existence.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!

When the the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss,
your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer--you didn't know!!! You
just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! (800 in my case)

With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" -- the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And
there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen---forever!

And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster
until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you
were screwed!

And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 (or 8 in my little college town)
channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on! Or worse yet, you had to
actually look in the newspaper!

And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
morning...

...D'ya hear what the f--- I'm saying!?!

We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little b------s!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled, I swear to God!

You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984.

(Let alone 1965!!!)