Love or In-Love, WTF?

[James]

Infatuation usually fades yes. But generally fades because people have poor relationship skills. Both with themselves and others.

A lot of people kill their own infatuation by being nervous because they feel so strongly. So they talk themselves out of it or dwell on perceived flaws. They kill their own buzz.

Many people feel out of control when infatuated.

The second thing is the lack of relationship skills. You have to maintain an infatuated feeling in your partner that is no longer unconditional.

The say infatuation is a truer kind of love because it is unconditional, many times we carely know the person yet.

In studies of the most successful, closest couples, they are able to maintain an infatuated state continously throughout their relationship because they have superior relationship skills. Skills as in actions.

Its not hard to develop those skills you just need to identify them and practice. They are actually pretty obvious lol. If you think about it you will figure them out.

An example usually is a long term couple that is so expressive that it makes everyone a little ill LOL, especially their kids.

I agree that most people fall into a different kind of relationship as time goes on, mostly based on time shared and security.

But hey thats their loss LOL!!! They make me chuckle. But the cool thing is, they don't know the difference anyway. So as long as they never get the joke, they are ok.

Originally posted by sigmagrrl


You are correct. I don't want to put words into anyone's "mouth", but I think what Cream may be referring to is the diminshed feelings of euphoria. THESE do diminish, it's only natural. What it should be replaced with is a deep, deep longing for a continued connection with your partner, on virtually every level (physically, emotionally, etc).

Speaking from observing others, many people freak out when that lust goes away. But it's not a bad thing, it's just different. I have never experienced a relationship that outlasted the lust phase, but I watched my parents for almost 35 years, and they still craved each other....I want that...