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The exact same thing happened to me...
I joined a service sorority first because I thought it was the "same thing" and found out that I just plain out didn't fit in. I faked it for a while, even held an office, but then started dating a fraternity boy who saw how unnaturally unhappy I actually was, and he encouraged me to rush...
...Don't worry about people looking down on you because you joined a service sorority first. The thing is, part of what sororities do IS service. And if they are going to cut you for that, anyway, you don't want to be in their sorority, because it's not what you are. I don't think anyone looked down on me because I was in a service sorority first. I explained to people that I had wanted the sisterhood, but I had wanted to go through it with someone else, and a bunch of the girls on my hall were doing this service sorority (by the way, all 4 of the girls on my hall who did it with me rushed, and 2 of us went DG, 1 went Kappa, and the other ended up dropping out of rush but has a completely new life and my roommate was in the service sorority with me and she ended up going DG, too).
I'm glad that I went through formal recruitment. It allowed me a chance to be in a sorority that I FIT in. I got to look at 10 sororities and meet tons of girls and figure out exactly where I fit best, and I get to do all of this service within the sorority. It's everything that I wanted. (Plus, mixers are a pretty big perk that I couldn't enjoy in a service sorority)
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