The Don't List for Black Folks

[Professor]

The Don't List for Black Folks

1 DON'T visit a tanning booth. I do not care how light you are,tanning
is not an activity listed as acceptable for African Americans. If you
are
that light, buy bronzing creme.

2. DON'T Outline your lips with black lip liner. You are not white. Your
lips are big enough already. There is no need to call attention to them.

3. DON'T Leave the house without using lotion. Ashy is not a synonym of
sexy.

4. DON'T Skip a day...Your body chemistry is different from that of
white folks. Please use deodorant. Funky is only good if it's a bass
line in
a song.

5. DON'T Have three or more baby mamas/daddys. It's not cute and its
confusing. Ladies, if you do, at least give them your entire last name.
The mailman and the folks at school will be extremely confused
otherwise.

6. DON'T Call your family gathering a picnic. You got the email; you
know where the word came from. Besides, if you haven't been picked by
now,
it ain't gonna happen at your family reunion.

7. DON'T Drive a car that is worth more than your house.

8. DON'T Put on cologne without showering, bathing or washing up first.
You stink. Refer to #4 to determine the acceptable types of funk.

9. DON'T Believe the myth that all black folks can dance. Remember your
uncle at your sister's wedding? That's how you look, just 20 years
younger.

10. DON'T Confuse a hustle with a job. Your hustle is what you do in
addition to your job. Going to the studio is not a job. In fact, it's
not even a hustle unless you get paid.

11. DON'T Walk around half-naked outside. We don't want to see it. Have
you ever wondered why your lover/spouse turns the lights off before you
get
in the bed? They don't even want to see it.

12. DON'T Laugh when your children cuss. It's not cute.

13. DON'T Ever let anyone make you feel bad for being "too black",
whether in skin complexion, culture or attitude. Remember the words of
Ossie
Davis in Purlie: "I find, in being black, a thing of beauty, a joy."

14. DON'T Accuse someone of selling out simply because they've become
successful. Gospel artists, hip hop stars, and jazz musicians like nice
things just like you and if you could get paid to drink Sprite on camera
or
sell a million records, you would too. Kirk Franklin and Ice Cube aren't
sellouts, they're successful. Learn the difference and then handle YOUR
business.

15. DON'T Neglect the older folks in your life. They have plenty good
wisdom. Besides, you'll be trying to jump in the grave with them when
they die.

16. DON'T Refer to straight hair as good hair. If it covers your head,
it's good hair. You can be happy nappy.

17. DON'T Go to Bedside Baptist Church. In other words, get your butt up
on
Sunday morning, get dressed and get your worship on. God deserves it and
you
need the word whether you know it or not.

18. DON'T Pass on ridiculous emails and swear up and down that they are
true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black
folks, Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan, no one is going to
steal
your kidney if you visit New Mexico, and Bill Gates is not going to give
you
jack.