Bizarre Dream

[KappaKittyCat]

Okay, so I had the strangest dream last night and I can't for the life of me figure out what it means, so I thought I'd post it on GC and see what all you amateur dream gurus out there have to say.

I'm lying on a table in a dirty room, surrounded by blood and tissue (I'm assuming it's my own as well as other people's). I've just had an abortion.

I get up and leave, but all throughout the rest of the dream I continue to have flashes of that first scene, every time I close my eyes.

I start to head home and find myself in this other room that's ruined, like post-earthquake, post-bombing raid... just rubble. My mom comes in and starts screaming at me about how Planned Parenthood just called and told her that I'd had an abortion. I say it's supposed to be anonymous; besides, I'm an adult and it's my business. She says that one of the nurses there just couldn't handle the immorality anymore and had to tell. She demands to know who the father is. I say I don't know.

Just then I notice that this St. Bernard puppy has followed her in. It's really shaggy and cute and it wanders up to me and won't leave my side. I find some twine and creat a coller and leash of sorts for it, but there's really no need because I know it's not going anywhere. My mother yells at me to leave the dog and asks what do I mean I don't know who the father is.

I look into the puppy's eyes and realize that it's the spirit of the child I've just aborted. I know I can't leave it now, but it's not going to leave me anyway, so there's no worry there. I pick it up and it licks my face and nuzzles my neck.

My mother's still hollering at me about who the father is. It has to be my XBF, she says. I say that no, this was after he left me. She says that it had to be him because he was the love of my life. I realize that mother doesn't know and doesn't want to know that I've slept with others since him. I lie and say that yes, it was him, just to make her feel better.

Meanwhile we're walking down this grassy hill towards this shack. We stop at the end of my driveway and pick up all these poverty-stricken children, dirty orphans, who are holding onto a piece of twine so they'll stay together. We take them on towards the shack. I'm still holding the puppy.

Now my mother's hollering at me that it's my friend J's fault I had the abortion, that she talked me into it. I try to insist that it was me, I had no other choice, and that J had nothing to do with it, but mother won't listen.

We get to the shack and there's a Mexican woman there who's hosting a Christmas party for these orphans. They go off now to play with some other children and I'm left sitting there in this hovel with this old Mexican woman and my mom, still holding the puppy. The Mexican woman does't say anything but she looks very wise, and I have the feeling that if I can get her alone and talk to her, I can get this all figured out.

I go outside and lie down in the grass with the puppy and go to sleep. Another flash of that first scene and my mother screaming at the Mexican woman in the background.

Then I wake up.

So, GCers, what say you?