Quote:
Originally posted by James
2. She is usually trying to get thinner so telling her she is too thin is actually validating her eating system!!
A better approach might be teling her she looks unhealthy and unattractive because of a lack of muscle tone. And then leading the conversation from there.
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She is usually trying to get thinner? It's not like every skinny person has an eating disorder. I know many a skinny/scrawny girl who has no problem putting away large meals. My cousin actually eats the fat on steak, pork chops, etc, because her metabolism is so fast--she TRIES to include all the fat and calories that she can. And if she didn't do that, I'm sure she'd look underweight. She looks good as-is, packing away every morsel possible.
And yeah--telling someone they look unattractive in any way is a HORRIBLE and CRUEL thing to do. If it was an eating disorder, they already have low self-esteem/poor body image. The LAST thing you want to do is reinforce THAT. On the other hand, don't tell them they're looking good either--because to them, that means they're gaining weight and no matter what it LOOKS like, it's all about the MENTAL thing that weight is bad... we just went over all this psychological stuff of eating disorders in my adolescent psych class, so I can attest from the interviews and things we saw in there that I would 150% agree with anyone on here who has already stated that it'd be treading thin ice to make any kind of comment...
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