is this the way it's supposed to be?

[theta kite]

i was just initiated this past spring. i love my house very much and all of my sisters. the whole summer i was looking forward to coming back and participating in anything i can sign up for or get my hands on. i have so many ideas and so much i want to do to make our chapter the best it can be. what can i say, i'm a tad overenthusiastic and a bit of an idealist.

well, i got into a bit of trouble before the year ended with one of my pledge sisters. she had been drinking and asked if i would take another of our pledge sister home in her car. well, i dropped her off and i was driving back and i got into an accident. no one was hurt. the only thing that happened was that i scratched the side of her car. we got into this fight because she said that i had to pay for the cost of fixing the car even thought i thought that she should help me with at least some of it since i was looking out for their safety. nontheless, my parents paid for the damages which was over a thousand dollars, and needless to say since then, the relationship with that particular sister and me has been somewhat strained.

now back to the original point, i came back and we had our meetings for fall rush and everything, and i feel unwelcome. the other sisters are kind of condescending towards us and the friendships that i had formed with some of my pledge sisters aren't the same anymore because some of them are living in the house and i'm not. the sister that i had problems with the car with is also living in the house and i'm afraid she might've been talking to some of the sisters and inadvertantly caused some of the sisters to judge me. i'm not saying that she's the kind of person to be badmouthing me, but we had some problems, and even though she said that she isn't angry with me at all, i can't help thinking that she might harbor some resentment.

but all in all, the point is, that i'm not feeling comfortable in the house and around my sisters and some of my other pledge sisters feel the same way. is this normal? cause i imagined that things would only get better, but it hasn't or am i just freaking out for no reason because it's still the beginning of the school year. did you guys feel the same way when you were the new members? i would appreciate any perspective. sorry this is so long!!