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Any time I read articles like this or hear firsthand stories my heart goes out to them.
Without going into too much detail, I didn't get the bid my freshman year and dealt with the feeling of immediate heavy cuts.
I can't imagine what my mom felt watching me go through it, it kind of breaks my heart a bit to think of her hurting for me in that way, and it certainly wasn't something I appreciated at 18. Yes we know what to say, we know the things like "trust the process" and you have to "put in the work" but we say that from the perspective of having already been through it, being older and wiser, and having the gift of time to better understand and maybe even whitewash those strong feelings a bit.
However at the core there is an 18 year old girl who can't begin to understand the process and legitimately feels like she wasn't good enough. That's just reality and that's okay. In those moments sometimes your kid just needs to be sad and hurt before they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps. That's okay too.
It can get better though.
I accepted a bid to my favorite house on campus my sophomore year and then went on to become president.
I know sorority membership is not an absolute guarantee. They are not handing out participation trophies so everybody gets a bid everywhere. Life is not like that. But I do wish there were ways where this process wasn't quite as heartbreaking for those who get hurt along the way.
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