What went wrong?

[Sororitysock]

Originally Posted by Sphinxie

You don't know me, and you really don't know my daughter, so please don't act like you do. First of all, this was hardly my daughter's "first disappointment" (Theater kid who has experienced rejection after rejection, thanks) and, as I stated, I'm writing about something that happened over a year ago, and she's now pledged and is happy. So I was legitimately just curious how it works, not trying to "protect our children from every single disappointment and speed bump in life." If I'd wanted to do that, I'd likely have discouraged her from rushing at all. As it was, I actually encouraged her to go back this year, as a junior, when I knew she'd get very few invitations back, to try again. I was proud of her that she did.

So, again, thanks for the life advice, but I was really JUST CURIOUS. And yes, you're right. I don't know how it works. That's why I ASKED. Is asking questions discouraged around here? I kind of thought that was the point of a message board.

Also, not trying to "game the system." She pledged.

Touchy touchy. I did not say this was about your daughter, simply a trend many of us have noticed this year, trying to assign objective probabilities to subjective data. Yet somehow I hit a nerve.

Your daughter quit her first recruitment in a snit because the "top tier" sorority made the horrible mistake of inviting her to an extra round to get an opportunity to know her better before they passed. She bravely went through recruitment again as a junior and accepted a bid to one of the "lower tier" chapters that had invited her to preference her first time around. I'm glad she matured in those years in spite of having a mother who still seems hung up on tiers.

Originally Posted by Sphinxie

If RFM says thiat the heaviest cuts are the first invitational party, so sororities should drop girls they have no intention of pledging at that point, why were both this girl and my daughter kept through several invitational parties, only to be dropped by most right on pref night?

My daughter got invited to 8 parties (the max allowed) the first invitational day, 6 parties (the max allowed) the second invitational day, including one chapter considered "top" at that school. So she felt like she could get into that chapter or, at least, she had a good cushion of solidly mid-tier houses. I assume if she had horrible social media or a bad reputation, she'd have been dropped earlier than that. But then, BOOM! On pref night, when she was feeling safe, she got dropped by all but her last two choices.

Perhaps if you'd stayed active in your sorority since the 80s, you'd understand how things work today.