Considering Resigning From Fraternity
I have been struggling with the idea of "dropping my letters" for a while now. That sentiment isn't too unique, but my situation I "feel" is much different. I haven't had any bad experiences with the people of my chapter. (Keywords: my chapter) & I have held many leadership positions, such as Social Events chair, Community Service chair, Judicial chair, head of the recruitment committee, Vice President and more recently President.
However, I genuinely do not feel like I belong. I do not feel the members of my chapter of my organization are truly brothers or family but just friends, people that kinda know me. My time in the fraternity has felt more like a job than a home.
To answer the obvious but not so obvious question of "Why did you stay?" I genuinely do not know at this point. When thinking about it, my best answer would be I wanted to make the organization better for the future (which it is currently). The organization was a struggling one at the time of my initiation. I knew I could help in certain ways so I felt like it was my obligation to do so.
The other aspect of my internal struggle for lack of better term deals with my racial identity. (nearly) Two years ago when I first joined, I was a different person. Two years later I realize that culture and my racial identity are things that really mean a lot to me. Being a POC is a "Predominately White Organization" honestly doesn't feel right. I really thought it wouldn't bother me and I feel terrible that it does but I feel more at home with the Black Student Union at my college than my fraternity.
I was going to ask a question but I forgot, it was possibly for advice(?) so we'll go with that. All in all, I just wanted to share my story. This is the first time I shared these thoughts outside of my head so thank you for reading this far if you did.
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