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Here's my take on the situation.
First of all, I've been in one of those relationships with a guy that JUST wasn't what I needed. He was lazy, gone all the time, possibly cheating, and just a liar!!!!!!!!!!! Deep down I knew most of these things, but didn't want to admit it to myself because I was "in love" and hadn't ever felt like I was needed by anyone like him before. I confused love with need...I needed him because he was someone to call my own ~ something she's probably doing because all her friend's have their "special someone's".
Furthermore I believe that a lot of women (not all) find themselves pressured by society to bag the man before they graduate college. It's just like "Sex in the City"...if you can't find someone before you're 30 you're a spinster...lol (well we all know better, but it's hard). Perhaps she's feeling the itch to just settle cuz all her friends are. And maybe it scares her because she has a history with this guy and figures he is all the better she can do.
You are right however....people cannot change THAT fast. If given the right circumstances and different surroundings they could, but considering they never really had a "break" then more than likely he hasn't changed.
The worse thing you can do however is to have all the girls gang up on her and tell her she's making a mistake. It will only damage your friendships and make her that more likely to marry him (she'll think you all are jealous or stupid). The best thing is to tell her your concerns calmly. List his downfalls, recall the countless times he hurt her, and ask her if she can REALLY say things are different. More than likely by you throwing those memories out on the table, she'll wake up to at least the idea that you all may be right!
Keep us posted! I know it won't be easy but just remember that you cannot control what she does...but if after trying to talk her out of it...perhaps a wake up call of unsupportiveness would help!
Hootie
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