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What I find problematic is that you left when the going got dicey or tough or whatever, when they most needed strong members. Yes, you did abandon them. Now you want to come back, but I'm unclear as to your motives.
My advice is to let sleeping dogs lie, based on your statements about "awkward" encounters on campus and being "afraid they still hate me". The prodigal son is a story in the Bible. In real life, it doesn't always work that way. I think you are fortunate that they granted you alum status; you could have been terminated. There are bridges burned because you never should have gone down that road in the first place. But, as you're discovering, this was a bridge that you regret having burned.
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"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
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