Scenario (formerly "A Question of Delicacy.....")

[equeen]

OK, here's the scoop!

I'll start with a brief synopsis of the scenario I emailed out to some people:

During rush one semester, there was a miscommunication during our rush. Several young ladies who sought us out, and were very eager about us, suddenly lost interest in us. We weren't sure what had happened; later we saw they had rushed and initiated various BGLOs. We were upset and puzzled (I especially so, I was chairing rush at the time)...what had we done wrong, where had the communication gap occurred? We were excited that these girls were interested in us, and upset at their sudden loss of interest. I think even more so, because the loss in interest was never directly expressed by them; it really only became apparent once they were initiated into other sororities, and wearing letters.

In retrospect, I understand what happened:

(1) these young ladies were already focused on a BGLO they had a calling for.

(2) we (A.S.K.) were mistaken by the young ladies for an honorary sorority of women in technical fields (actually, we are social).

(3) because of the *discretion* imperative to the BGLO intake process (which I can appreciate), the young ladies felt unable to express their loss of interest to us, without compromising their discretion.

I'm glad that the young ladies made the choices dearest to their hearts. However, the communication gap left my sorority in a bind. There must be a way for us to figure out whether a rushee is seriously considering a BGLO, without compromising her discretion.

I'm sure that the question is being asked: "but why do you need to know if they're interested in a BGLO, particularly? Seems like that's none of your business!" And I agree! Here's some perspective:

(1) I don't want to make the assumption that just because a young lady is black, she's only interested in a BGLO. In fact, I have a couple sisters who are black. So it makes sense to ask.

(2) We're not interested in *which* BGLO someone's interested in, just if they're seriously persuing one. It's been my experience that if someone's got AKA/Delta/SGRho/Zeta in their heart at the time we meet them, there is little possibility that they will find that a different sisterhood is acutlly better suited to them. If that's the case, then even if (mistaken) interest is shown on their part (which is part of what happened), we can act accordingly in terms of our own interest. Which brings me to my third point:

(3) Sometimes it's easier to accomplish more if you know the right thing to say. If we (A.S.K.) could ask/say the right *general* thing, and get either a positive or negative response, perhaps we could accomplish our ends and not compromise a potential opportunity.

OK, so that's the scenario and a bit of background. I will post responses a bit later, work calls!

[This message has been edited by equeen (edited June 13, 2000).]