Didn't really realize how I'd feel different. (Semi vent)

[misscherrypie]

I love my sorority, and I wouldn't trade being a Beta Sigma Phi for anything on the planet.

But, being (most likely) the only Beta Sigma Phi on campus has proven to be a little....lonely. I knew going in that I would only consider Beta Sigma Phi if I would enjoy and be committed to my sorority throughout my life and not just during college or trying to enjoy the experience of being a part of a sorority where my sisters are also on the same campus.....which is why I took the time to consider my motivations.

Still, those reminders that cause me to feel a bit of pain to come up at the wierdest times. I mean, from a social prespective.

I stayed on campus tonight to do a bit of studying in the Student Union, and I looked up to see lots of female and male students all dressed up to the nines. I wondered what the heck was going on. I went downstairs to ask the front desk and they stared at me (I have a lettered sweatshirt that I've become fond of wearing....I created it myself and put several hours of loving care and time into last week.....I wore the sweatshirt to school today.) and said that the All-Greek ball was going on this evening.

I know that I shouldn't care....but I do. I do. I think that it finally hit home that my sorority experience, which probably self-consciously I wanted to be a "traditional college experience" would not be. I'm a Beta Sigma Phi, and I already have made memories that I'll never forget.

Gah....I really need to get into therapy or something. Feeling like this is not what I wanted, or desired....and it's not all the time.....something about seeing all of the members of Social GLOs on campus as they proceeded to this event and were talking and laughing, while I'm sitting on a couch in my sweatshirt reminded me of something that I wanted to belong to and participate in, but isn't meant to be.


Thank you for letting me vent.