Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie93
I don't know if it is helicopter or just more simply that kids social lives are structured practically from birth. Once upon a time a group of neighborhood kids wanting to play a game of baseball would have to first go mow a field, then find random objects to serve as bases, and other random objects to serve as the score board, decide amongst themselves who would play what position, etc. This utilized all sorts of creativity, planning, and executive functioning, not to mention collaboration by the neighborhood kids.
Now, kids join playgroups, kids play organized sports where all of the above elements are done FOR them and not BY them, and summers have turned into endless structured activities as well. I don't think that is the exact definition of helicoptering that we have come to know. I think parents can sign their kids up for all these structured events but still not be hovering.
When kids grow up this way, it should be not surprise that they then turn to organized groups on campus for their socialization. They haven't really ever just been thrown into a social situation and had to figure it out.
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I think that this is a really good point. My neices and nephews are busy from morning until night, sometimes attending practice for stuff BEFORE school and after school, and having to do homework late at night or at breakfast.
I grew up in the 70s/80s, when there was still little distraction (I recall having a tv that only had 13 stations, and only listening to AM on the radio). If it wasn't raining or cold, we were outside sunup to sundown. If it was raining or cold, we read, played "school" and "library" and had contests like "whoever is the quietest wins a prize".
If we said we were bored, my mom would offer to "give us something to do", which was usually something cleaning related. So we learned quickly to make our own fun.
We didn't get trophies "just for participating" and nobody was even guaranteed to be on the team! Aside from a few material gifts, birthdays were more about celebrating the person. I remember getting to pick dinner for that night always meant my favorite food - my mom's homemade pizza.
When I was under 10/11 years old, "rewards" for good behavior or grades weren't
things, and they didn't cost a lot of money, they were experiences:
- getting to sit in the front seat of the car for the week (otherwise the four of us took turns
- getting to get my dad a soda out of the fridge and sipping whatever didn't fit into the glass (soda was a rare treat, and I used to put a ton of ice cubes in the glass so I got more)
- getting to pick which (homemade) treat my mother would make (brownies? her special-recipe chocolate cake?, etc.)
- staying up an extra half hour to watch tv with mom and dad
- getting to watch all of "The Wizard of Oz", "The Sound of Music" and "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" while my mom made popcorn - these were usually shown around Easter.
Now, nothing is special. You don't wait a year to watch a beloved movie. You join everything without having a particular talent or skill. It seems to make things less special. Kids don't know what to do with free time. They can't just sit and hang out. And as a result, parents are becoming that way, too - they have to be involved 24/7, keeping pace with other parents. It's sad.
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