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To the OP:
I'm going to put this in Dance Company analogy for you.
You audition for a Dance Company (let say before your Freshman year in HS) & you join. You go to the first Competition & you find out your are not a Top Studio, that you are in "one of those filler" studios at the Competition. You hate the looks & are embarrassed to be with your Groups on Stage. Also, you really have no connection to any of your fellow company members (because you just show up for class & leave). You tell your mom you want to switch. She tells you NO, because she has already spent $3000 for all the costumes & made reservation for the whole family for Nationals.
Your mom tells you to work hard & see where it goes. So you show up early for every practice, interact with your group, & take all the extra workshops the studio offers. You also decide to start doing sleepovers & going out for breakfast with your group members. You find out you actually like a lot of them. Your hard work pays off and by the end of the session your Small Group gets Platinum at Nationals.
Some other dancers you know are looking for a studio -- well because now you LOVE your Small Group, you encourage them to audition for your Studio.
Time passes and now you are a Senior in HS & when you go to competitions, your Studio is the TOP Studio. It didn't happen overnight. You worked hard, kept asking other good dancers to join your Company, & kept a positive Attitude.
You were rewarded with High Praises & Top Awards. You grew as a Dancer, a Company Member, & as a Woman.
With all Organizations in Life, you can't just show up for the Fun Stuff. It takes work and commitment from everyone involved to succeed. Change is slow but possible.
I believe you learned a long time ago not to just give up. You need to use those lessons now. Best of luck to you.
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