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There's a big difference between a 24 year old military veteran and a 40 year old professional, not just in age but in experience. I would focus on the professional fraternities. It will still provide you some of the brotherhood you're after minus some of the 18 year old crap you'd get sick of in about 5 minutes. I'm not sure how the service fraternities look on this sort of age situation, but that may be another avenue to follow.
Although technically it would be possible to join an NIC fraternity, and AI is also a (stretch) possibility, I don't think they'd offer you what you really want/need. I haven't seen it come up regarding fraternities in the past, but if you look at some of the AI threads you'll get an idea of likelihood and what's actually involved.
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"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta
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