I didn't get my first choice - it gets better.

[SWTXBelle]

It seems that many pnms and their mothers (!) struggle with not getting invited back/bids from their first choice sororities. I thought maybe it would help if those of us who have experienced this and come out on the other side shared our stories.

I remember well the shock of being released from my first choice sorority before skit day. Here I was, a sophomore with a proven academic record, stellar extracurricular activities, relatively attractive AND a legacy - and I wasn't invited back. It might have been the fact that when asked how I was I burst out in tears because I had just received word my aunt had died. It probably was the fact I was a sophomore. Either way, I was stunned. Because I had been focusing with laser-like intensity on that one chapter I had not even given the others much attention. I was going to be a member of ____________, so really, why worry much about the others.

Luckily, I still had invitations to the other sororities. I had two choices for pref, and was firmly convinced I would get my first choice. (See above for rationale). I was singing my first choice sorority's song as my Rho Chi handed me my bid - to my second choice. HOW could this have happened? I thought we had a great conversation at the pref ceremony - why didn't I get my first choice? What to do? Well, I knew that as a sophomore the odds of me getting a bid next go-round were slim to none. I also intuited that Gamma Phi really, really wanted me. It's nice to be wanted, so I went to the house.

The women were SO excited to see me. My pledge sisters were great, and I decided I would be the best Gamma Phi since Helen M. Dodge. I threw myself into sorority activities, spent time with my pledge sisters, volunteered and before I knew it I couldn't imagine myself as anything BUT a Gamma Phi. I married while still in college, so was an alumna, but I served as an advisor and continued to be active.

It's 26 years since I was initiated. I am president of an alumnae chapter and also serving as president of the local alumnae panhellenic. Gamma Phi took a chance on me, and in doing so gave me a priceless opportunity. I am so glad I took a chance on my second choice.

Please - please - pnms and moms: don't close the door on a fabulous opportunity because you had initially seen yourself as an XYZ and they have cut you. As long as you have an invitation you have the chance to be a part of something GREAT. There's not a one of the 26 NPC groups that doesn't have a network of incredible women, leadership training, and a strong sisterhood. No chapter will be perfect - but every chapter offers you the opportunity to help it develop into something even better than it now is, and for you to affect positive change - for both you and your chapter.