What makes me feel awkward is being so upset with the one thing that made me so happy that I no longer want to even be involved with it. It sucks to be so excited about something to the point of feeling major disappointment when something that might appear to be small/ minute feels like a real slap in the face. When you go back through the last few years and try to erase something that you absolutely loved out of your life (or seemingly so) because it seems to be one thing after another that hurts your feelings, it's a horrible feeling. Maybe I'm better off just fading into the background.
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