Rest in Peace, bro_strawter

[Senusret I]

Although I've known Brother Tre'Nai Strawter for nearly my entire time as a member of Alpha Phi Omega (over a decade), I regrettably never met him in person.

Our interactions were initially over email. In fact, I have absolutely no idea how we came to know one another, but I remember clearly the zeal which he had for Alpha Phi Omega in the Spring of 1999 when he joined 32 other Tennessee State University Students and became a Petitioner of Alpha Phi Omega. He was the first member from a Historically Black University that I'd ever shared ideas with. As the only black pledge of my chapter that whole year, it was important for me to reach out to others who looked like me. You know, to know feel as isolated.

I think that Tre'Nai was eager to reach out as well. He had an uncommon devotion to the brotherhood beyond his chapter. His name is well known to those of us initiated in the late 1990s and beyond.

The road toward the perfection of brotherhood wasn't always easy for Tre'Nai. Over the years, we'd confide in one another our hopes and dreams for the fraternity. Like all of us, there were struggles internal and external to the chapter which Tre'Nai handled with as much grace and dignity as a young man in his 20s could muster when dealing with an imperfect system and so many personalities.

Tre'Nai and I clashed. Often. Here, on GreekChat. On other message boards. In public spheres and in private. But somehow we always found our way back to each other, as Brothers should.

Last year, I joked with him that he and I were the Alexis Colby and Dominique Devereaux of Alpha Phi Omega. We were two very strong-willed personalities who refused to back down from one another - or anyone else, for that matter. Of course, I always thought of myself as Little Mister Perfect whose duty it was to reel in the wayward Brother Strawter. And I'm sure, to him, I was just a bleeding-heart who needed a good shaking to toughen me up.

But, I loved him. Exactly as he was. And when I learned to accept him for who he was, then I could enjoy his friendship even more. I stopped trying to change him and I tried to ever-so-subtly convince him to volunteer more time to the fraternity through an alumni association. I definitely wanted him to attend the national convention in Atlanta and stand with me as I sought national office.

It was Founders Day - December 16 - when I was notified that he was deathly ill and wouldn't likely make it through the night. I broke down then and clasped my hands in prayer, hoping for a miracle. I thought to myself "It would be just like Tre'Nai to die on founders' day, just so we would all remember him as an integral part of the fraternity.

He didn't die on founders day. He died today. And he will still remain an integral part of what Alpha Phi Omega means to me.

For reasons I won't go into here, Tre'Nai Strawter forever changed Alpha Phi Omega. Any Brother who has pledged the fraternity through an HBCU chapter -- and some PWIs, too -- owes their experience to Tre'Nai. His interpretation of our fraternal values were the catalyst of change in HBCU chapters. While his vision was not perfect, it was a start. And today, we have strong men and strong women building strong chapters at schools which deserve our presence.

I miss my brother. I love my brother. I never told him enough. And I will never know if he knew just how much I appreciated him. But I thank God for who he was to me, to Psi Phi Chapter, and to Alpha Phi Omega.

Rest in paradise, dear brother.