A Word of Caution to PNMs

[LadyLonghorn]

Consider this a public service announcement for all PNMs.

The Internet can be both your best friend and worst enemy as you prepare to participate in formal recruitment at your school. It can be the source of invaluable information or your complete downfall. You are the one who is driving that car. If you're a great girl who would be a wonderful sister for life, we want you to succeed at recruitment. Really. We do.

However, you are not as invisible nor anonymous on the Internet as you think you are. The world just isn't that big when it comes to colleges and Greek life. Accept this fact and behave exactly as you would when communicating face-to-face with sorority members about possible membership. I think almost all chapters, at least at highly competitive schools, can recount at least one tale of "Death by Facebook" during recruitment. But there's also a lesser known malady called "Death by Greekchat." This is where a PNM's recruitment has been completely torpedoed by her (or a parent's) behavior here.

The amount of due dilligence that is involved in membership selection in the age of the Internet is staggering. Gone are the days of our parents where Patti PNM showed up with a good resume, recs, and a big smile. Now we know Patti also did half the football team on spring break and bragged about it on Facebook. Then she went on Greekchat to talk about how she would only be an XYZ at State U because no one else was good enough for her since she's clearly top tier material. Then she told all the Greekchatters who cautioned her to have an open mind where they could put their open minds. You need to keep yourself tidy, and that includes what you do here on Greekchat.

If you attend a large and/or competitive school, chances are there are sorority members at your school who at least lurk here. Take a look at all those visitors and registered users along the left hand side of this page. I'll give you a hint: they aren't all ESL spammers preparing to make posts about the herbal viagra they sell. They're PNMs like you as well as sorority actives, alumnae and even inter/national sorority officers and other well connected volunteers. Even if no one from your school is here, if you behave poorly, I can assure you that someone here will know someone at your school and send a link to anything questionable you do here.

When people take the time to advise you about how things work at your school, thank them and be gracious. If we tell you that you need recs, rest assured, you do need them. If we tell you a campus is competitive and your 2.8 will get you automatically cut because all the chapters require a 3.3, believe it. It's not that we don't think that you're awesome or otherwise well qualified. It's just that every one of those other PNMs is special too and most of them have at least a 3.3. Don't argue because you don't think things should be that way or decide things can't possibly be that way because you just talked to a stranger at the Quickie Mart and they said their brother-cousin Elmo once dated the sister of someone who was in a sorority at a totally different school and she said that's not the way things are at all. Just because we tell you how things are doesn't mean we agree with the situation. Trust us when we tell you something. We are trying to help you and in many cases, to prepare you for some certain disappointment. Don't kill the messenger even if you don't like the way the message is delivered. This can come back to bite you in a big way and makes you look all sorts of ugly to people who may be in a position to help you become a member.