To pledge or not to pledge...

[Lyria]

So, here's my recruitment story/ situation.
At my school, greek life is pretty big and a lot of leaders on campus are greek. I'm definitely interested in doing leadership and I also loved the thought of belonging to a sorority after hearing my friend's fantastic frat experience the previous year (which is also at the same school).
The first night of rush was just a walkthrough and we talked with girls from each sorority and then ranked them. We have six and I ranked them as follows:
1: Harry Potter
2: Hermione
3: Ron
4: Ginny
5: Cho
6: Cedric

Now, Harry Potter is new to our campus and this year was their first year doing a formal recruitment. They were colonized this spring and had their own recruitment. Even though they were a new chapter and the smallest, I really enjoyed spending time with them. They were very social and I had the chance to talk with multiple girls. I told them of my worries like time since I do theatre and music, but a lot of the sisters were involved in the same things and others had jobs as well as their volunteer work. So I really admired their commitments.
Hermione was also pretty cool and I had the chance to talk to a good number of girls and I had a good time.
Ron was ranked third for me mainly because of their philanthropy and volunteer work.

The second day rolls around and I pick up my invite for the night and I received two invites from Harry Potter and Cedric.
Wait, Cedric? I ranked them at the bottom because I didn't feel very connected with them and they were okay I guess, but our conversations lacked a lot for me. But I still attend the two parties because I didn't want to automatically cross them off.

The third day I receive invites back from Harry Potter and Cedric again. On philanthropy night I loved that Harry Potter's was so close and they could go and work in person and not just send off gifts and money. Cedric's philanthropy was also very touching and I did tear up at their video, but we just made stuff that was going to be sent off, like the opposite of what I liked about Harry Potter. The girl from Cedric that I was talking to was the only girl I got to talk to while at Harry Potter they switched off and I got to meet even more of the girls.

Pref night rolls around and I received invites from, surprise, Harry Potter and Cedric. I was thankful that I had made it this far since many girls had just dropped due to not getting their tops or not getting invites. Harry Potter's ceremony was elegant, beautiful and touching. Cedric's was pretty, but I was sitting with the same girl as philanthropy night and I still didn't connect with her all that well and I kind of wished I had at least gotten someone new to talk to or meet some more sisters. Afterwards when we had to rank, I put Harry Potter 1st just like I had every previous night. I almost didn't put Cedric because if I did get a bid from them, I knew I wouldn't accept it.

Bid day comes and I get a bid from Cedric.
Huh?
Okay, okay, well, can't change things now... I was really down, but I tried to keep a positive attitude and went out to go with the rest of the new sisters. When I walked out, they didn't appear very enthused nor did I. They just handed me a jersey and balloon and smiled and said, "Welcome home!" The slight upturn came when I saw one of the Gamma Chis I looked up to was a Cedric as well as one of Panhellenic officers. We run down the hill to the rest of the sisters and one of the frats was also with the sisters, hugging and welcoming us as well. That frat apparently was close to the Cedrics and it was the same frat my friend mentioned earlier is in, so I thought this maybe wouldn't be too bad.
On bid day, we go to one of the sister's houses and have a pool party. I wasn't really feeling connected still, but I know that relationships aren't established immediately. Then one of the girls shouts, "You motherfuckers better leave me some goddamn food!" And it was really loud, but the rest of the girls just laughed it off. I wasn't very comfortable with that. Then later as we're leaving they invite the new members to go to the local bar and it's the same bar that I swore I wouldn't step foot in. So I declined politely.

It's been a couple weeks and I still don't know if I want to pledge or not. I don't know if I'll have enough time to even do it and I don't want to end up as an invisible sister plus the fact that I don't really click with them. But if I don't, then I don't think I'll ever have the chance to go greek. Well, be apart of a social sorority. I also plan to join Delta Omicron since I'm a music major and I like how involved they are with the department. I'm also applying to be an RA. I don't want to miss out on those, but I also don't want to miss out on the possible leadership positions in the sorority and greek council as well.

Sorry this is really long, but it's been weighing really heavy on my mind.