Thank you. But this is hard won restraint.
When my older daughter chose to go to a class (offered once every four year and a night class) instead of recruitment was I upset when she didn't get invites (no matter what Panhellenic said that excused absences wouldn't hurt you) to houses that she never saw, nor they her? Yes, I was upset for her. Did I want to complain? Yes. I knew the head of Panhellenic. I went shopping instead.
Did I want to approach the girl who blackballed my daughter (older again) to my daughter's favorite house because the sister came out of the closet to my daughter during the last round? Yes, I did. Especially when, on graduation day, she shaved her head and came out to her classmates. (We knew exactly what happened in the voting meeting because one of my daughter's best friends was in the house and 3 plus generations of family friendships trump some confidentiality.)
No, I didn't say a thing. Bit my tongue and went to my daughter's party.
Did I want to say to the Reluctant One "You will go through recruitment. You don't have to pledge...just try it." Yes, I did, want to say it. I bought her a Presents dress instead. And look how that turned out.
Does keeping one's mommy (and daddy) mouth shut always work out for the best? No. But disappointment is a part of life. Success that you earn is far greater than what is given or coerced. And you grow from both. And sometimes what mommy thinks is for the best, isn't.
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