I feel guilty. Should I?

[medusa77]

My friend is a single mother. She has been since '06 or '07. Her son's father abandoned them. (This much is true.) I used to visit her in the shelter she was living in. After I went out of my way to help her find a job, go back to college, get childcare, and find a suitable subsidized housing apartment, I thought things were finally on the up and up. Last week, she told me that she ran into her mother, who she hasn't spoken to for over a year. Her mother said that baby-daddy was trying to reach out- from prison. He was sending letters to her mother's old address. Her mother had gone back there to visit someone, and the super gave her a few letters that were not returned to him. Now, my friend wants to defend him. She said that the violent assault charge he got must be a result of him being provoked by the victim. I [as kindly as possible] told her that you don't get five years for your first offense, because you were provoked. I also said that he's only been in prison since 2009. Where was he in 2006, 2007, and 2008? I pointed out that she has not seen him for over four years. A person can change a lot in four years. She wants to go visit him, and bring their son with her. I said that I don't think that's a good idea, the first time. She hasn't seen or spoken to him. I said that she should at least find out where his head is at, before exposing her son to that. Especially, since he's old enough to understand that his father is in prison. When I finished, she was crying. I know that all children deserve a father in their life; but they also deserve a good father. My biggest fear, is that she'll sacrifice everything she's rebuilt, for him-and when he gets out in 2014, he'll abandon them again.