2 Questions About Rushing With A Fraternity

[RJG728]

Hi Guys!

Well let me start off by saying that I'm a sophomore transfer student from a junior college who is trying to rush this quarter (Spring) with a fraternity. I didnt rush my freshman year since I was in a junior college, but now I want to do it because I want to have a great overall college experience.

Question #1:
I'm going to be honest with you guys and telling an embarrassing story for me. I rushed another frat last quarter (Winter) and got a bid and was set to go. It was great. One night though I was drinking with some of the brothers. It got out of hand (drinking-wise) and I knocked out. They got worried called a ambulance, someone drew on me, etc. I wake up in the hospital. Basically, they ended up on social probation for the rest of the quarter because of this and Nationals said I couldnt join because I was a risk. It was embarrassing, and I felt awful. Thats why I didnt rush anywhere else because I wanted to take punishment also for my actions in the incident.

I took the quarter off socially, but now I want to join a frat (obviously). A couple guys in the new fraternity know about what happened and understand that it was just a bad set of circumstances. That I shouldn't have had so much alcohol and they should have handled the situation better. The thing is that I dont go around telling every brother this story. Should I be more open about it? I'm not hiding it, but if no one asks I dont see why I need to blurt it out? What are your thoughts on this? Personally, it has helped make me a better person and a potential better brother.

Question 2:
I've only been to three rush events so far. A couple guys who I'm close with say I have a bid (when they hand them out) and while I believe them I'm also worried that I should be doing more. You see, when I first meet people I like to absorb everything at first. Learn people, surroundings, and attitudes before become more outgoing. I'm not anti-social by any means but I usually just stick to talking sports, pop culture, some jokes, and maybe some stuff about on campus. I don't totally loosen up for a while.

The frat I'm thinking about joining is filled with a lot of out going guys, and I'm just curious if this is normal for every rush when they first meet a fraternity? Do guys understand that it may take a couple weeks for people to open up completely. Like I was at a pregame, and I was talking to the brothers and someone was like "Go talk to some girls", but personally I just wanted to get to know the brothers better first and just play it chill.

The reason I'm real curious about this is because I'm curious if I'm outgoing enough to be in a fraternity. I'm a real chill guy who just likes to take it easy most of the time. With my close friends I can go crazy, but for the most part I like to be smooth about things. Idk. Any advice on expectations from rushes would be appreciated?

Ex: I went to a fraternity basketball game tonight. I said hi to all the brothers I knew, a couple other words, and just watched the rest of the game quietly only cheering when they scored. I dont want to come off as too pushy or trying to hard. I enjoyed the game, but wondered if some of the brothers wanted me to be more vocal and active?

Thanks for any advice guys. I appreciate it!