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Is the "bride" going to be in a wedding gown? Or are there just going to be 8 women playing dress-up? Are groomsmen going to be there, too? This whole thing is so odd.
You've gotten a lot of good ideas - an etiquette book, a college fund, a bottle of wine. All these options seem like more than the couple deserves. The problem with giving an etiquette book in this type of situation is that the couple probably won't recognize the hint. If they're that removed from what's appropriate, they won't understand why they're getting that particular book. Even after they read it.
Since it isn't a wedding, and since there isn't a reconfirmation of vows, it just sounds like a party. I think I'm leaning towards the bottle of wine. I'd be tempted to open it while I was there, too.
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Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer. -Tom Magliozzi
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