thank you guys so much for replying! i really do appreciate it... for rush here at my school, we have to fill out an application that asks us if we've rushed before, and where and when... all the sororities get a copy of this application, so they will know that i've rushed before... they'll also have seen me twice before... i was also concered about the whole suiciding thing... would it look bad to them that i did suicide? i don't know if i'd rather them think that i did suicide or didn't receive a bid, or that i just didn't receive a bid from anybody? Of course if they ask, i'll tell them that i suicided, but i guess i'm just trying to understand how they look at things and what would you all think? I really appreciate all of your advice, thank you so much
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