Good article about gay members...
Out of the closet and into the frat
By Lyndsay Gross
The Daily Iowan
Growing up in Iowa City, UI junior Faraji Hubbard said, he had a lot of preconceived notions about the Greek system -- including the stereotype that gays are not welcome.
"I thought, being gay, I couldn't be a part of a fraternity," he said.
However, encouraged on by the friendships he forged during recruitment activities, the communications and music major joined two fraternities as an openly gay member within two years.
Nationwide, 5 to 6 percent of fraternity members and 3 to 5 percent of sorority members are homosexual, said Tom Durein, the guest speaker at a Sunday night lecture addressing being gay and Greek.
Durein, Greek adviser at the University of California, encouraged UI fraternities and sororities to promote acceptance, citing recent instances in which Greek gays and lesbians felt lost in the system and took their own lives.
"You don't have to change your beliefs," said Durein, who was a closeted homosexual in the University of Oregon Greek system in the late-80s. "I'm just asking you to provide an environment everyone can feel comfortable in. If you don't think there are gay members in your fraternities, I'm here to tell you there are -- I dated them."
Hubbard joined the Kappa Alpha, a provisional fraternity, his freshman year. He never entertained keeping his sexual orientation a secret.
"I wasn't going to go back in the closet to please 40 guys," said Hubbard, who was at Durein's lecture at the IMU, which kicked off Greek Week. "They were very supportive -- it wasn't even an issue."
He later joined Delta Chi during the fall of 2000, when Kappa Alpha folded.
Hubbard took a male date to a formal event for the first time ever when he attended the Delta Chi winter formal in November 2001.
"Everyone knew I was going to take a guy," Hubbard said. "The guys were cool with it. The dates -- the women -- were a little caught off guard."
The two-and-a-half years he spent in the Greek system were devoid of contact with other openly gay Greeks, even though fellow Delta Chi member and UI sophomore Josh Dreyer said there is one other gay member in the fraternity.
"Everyone learned a little bit of a culture lesson," Dreyer said. "We may have tried a little harder to make sure [Hubbard] felt accepted and had a good time."
Hubbard said his sexuality had no bearing on his departure from Delta Chi in January, adding that his Greek experience was always positive.
But Durein's presentation revealed that there is still progress to be made. A study showed that 32 percent of community-college men and 18 percent of those respondents said they have verbally and physically abused a homosexual, respectively.
"I don't know why we are so scared," Durein said.
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